Disney has gone from bending the knee to Trump outrage to sheepishly welcoming Jimmy Kimmel back to ABC’s airwaves — all in under a week. The House of Mouse, usually a master of controlling its own fairy tales, has somehow cast itself as the villain, the damsel, and the comic relief in the same news cycle.
It started when Kimmel, late-night’s reigning jester of right-wing hypocrisy, dared to point out the ghoulish spectacle of conservatives scrambling to spin the killing of their own activist hero Charlie Kirk. FCC Chair Brendan Carr (yes, government official) threatened “regulatory action”, while right-wing media spun Kimmel’s monologue into proof of a vast liberal conspiracy against “patriots.” Within hours, Nexstar and Sinclair yanked Kimmel’s show from affiliate schedules, and ABC folded faster than a cheap lawn chair at a Trump rally.
Disney’s official statement tried to dress up the cave-in as “sensitivity” during a “tense moment,” but even Mickey Mouse couldn’t keep a straight face. Hollywood stars, free-speech groups, and actual Americans who remember civics class erupted in protest. Former late-night king David Letterman publicly scolded ABC for “sucking up to an authoritarian, criminal administration,” while an ACLU-backed open letter — signed by everyone from Meryl Streep to Lin-Manuel Miranda — warned Disney it was on the verge of writing its own villain song.
Meanwhile, conservatives basked in the brief illusion of victory. President Donald Trump, apparently between Truth Social posts about windmills, crowed that Kimmel had been fired for “bad ratings” after saying a “horrible thing” about “a great gentleman named Charlie Kirk.” Vice President JD Vance cracked that Marco Rubio should replace Kimmel as host, proving once again that the GOP’s comedic instincts are only slightly sharper than its healthcare plan. Even Ted Cruz, who never met a culture war he didn’t like, fretted that the FCC’s threats looked a little… authoritarian. (Oops.)
By Monday, Disney had apparently rediscovered its spine — or at least its bottom line. In a fresh statement, the company admitted it had “thoughtful conversations” with Kimmel and decided to return him to the air Tuesday. Translation: the blowback was brutal, the subscription cancellations were real, and Tatiana Maslany telling her fans to cancel Disney+ was scarier than any FCC letterhead.
Still, right-wing figures like Turning Point USA’s Andrew Kolvet are howling that Disney “caved” to liberals. Yes, Andrew, that’s exactly what happened — Disney realized it can’t out-MAGA MAGA without torching its own brand. The supposed free-speech warriors were so eager to silence a comedian that they managed to hand him his biggest victory since Matt Damon’s “I’m f***ing Ben Affleck” sketch.
Bottom line: Disney tried to please everyone, enraged almost everyone, and ended up proving Jimmy Kimmel’s point. The culture war clown car has rolled on, but the only thing “cancelled” here is the myth that conservatives don’t love a good censorship binge — as long as they’re the ones holding the remote.
