President Donald Trump has declared that Chicago is “up next” for a National Guard deployment—just as the city’s homicide and shooting rates plummet, proving that conservatives are always supporters of small government, unless President Trump says so.
Speaking August 22 in the Oval Office, Trump labeled Chicago “a mess” and assured onlookers the National Guard would “straighten that one out next.” He added, with enviable subtlety, that “Chicagoans are screaming for us to come,” citing “beautiful African American ladies wearing red hats” who apparently queued around the block to request troops.
This statement was perfectly timed. Through the first half of 2025, the city recorded 188 homicides—a roughly 32% drop—and 665 shootings, down about 39%. Carjackings were cut in half, robberies suffered a 32% fall, aggravated assaults declined 18%, and batteries were down 9%. Even statewide, Gov. JB Pritzker confirmed these dramatic dips: homicides down 30%, shootings down 40%, carjackings down 50%.
Despite these encouraging public safety trends, conservatives insist they’re settling for nothing less than a full-on militarized makeover. After all, nothing says “small government” like uniforms, tanks, and constitutional ambiguity brought on by National Guard deployments.
Mayor Brandon Johnson—clearly uninvited to the “we’re coming in to save you” party—called Trump’s proposal “uncoordinated, uncalled for, and unsound,” warning it would risk undoing the “historic progress” achieved through community investment and trust. Governor Pritzker, meanwhile, reminded Trump that locking down Chicago without his permission is not only tone-deaf, but also legally questionable. “Things people are NOT begging for,” he posted on X, “1. An authoritarian power grab of major cities.”
These protests come as the data simply says: Chicago’s problems are… improving. Which makes sense, since Chicago has long advanced proven solutions like youth development, housing support, mental health, trauma-informed outreach, and gun recovery—work that apparently no one noticed until the U.S. military rolled in to steal the spotlight.
Meanwhile, over in Washington, D.C., Trump’s guard deployment achieved stunning results: carjackings plummeted 83%, robberies by 46%, car thefts by 21%, and overall violent crime down 22%—all within the first week. The city even enjoyed a seven-day homicide-free stretch. Perfect timing: just as D.C.'s crime was already falling, federal boots graced the capital, granting perfect alignment of optics and irony.
The doubling-down of conservative small-government rhetoric—bring tanks when crime’s light—makes no sense unless you’re committed to the theatre of law-and-order, even if the crime plot is already resolved. Chicago didn’t ask for help. But thank God for the kind of bipartisan strengthening that comes from the corner of “everyone brings popcorn, but no one reads the data.”
